Dragon's Dogma 2 - Pitch Meeting

• INTRO: Dramatic music, zoom-in on a fake studio set labeled “Capcom HQ”

SCREENWRITER GUY So you have a video game sequel for me?

EXECUTIVE GUY Yes sir I do! It’s called Dragon’s Dogma 2. Remember that cult classic RPG from 2012 that had a lot of jank but also weirdly loyal fans?

SCREENWRITER GUY I do! People loved it for its ambitious systems and climbing monsters like a medieval Spider-Man!

EXECUTIVE GUY Well great news — we brought back some of that! But now it’s in a massive open world with the same climbing system and also 500% more walking.

SCREENWRITER GUY More walking? That's always the highlight of an RPG!

EXECUTIVE GUY Right? But here’s the twist: we decided fast travel is for cowards.

SCREENWRITER GUY So players can’t fast travel?

EXECUTIVE GUY Not unless they hoard limited-use items like they’re playing Survivor: Gransys Edition. We want every journey to feel like a real commitment. Like planning a vacation in the 1300s.

SCREENWRITER GUY Sounds frustrating and immersive!

EXECUTIVE GUY Exactly! And don’t worry, there’s plenty of escort missions and monster ambushes along the way so you can really savor the 15-minute hike to town.

SCREENWRITER GUY Will players at least be rewarded with exciting dialogue?

EXECUTIVE GUY Oh absolutely. Every NPC has a Shakespearean vocabulary and the emotional range of a damp crouton. And they say things like “’Tis a fine day, Arisen,” on loop forever. It's like being haunted by a Renaissance fair.

SCREENWRITER GUY And what about the pawns? That system was pretty innovative in the first game.

EXECUTIVE GUY Oh, we brought that back! Your AI companions still copy other players’ behavior and shout helpful things like “Wolves hunt in packs!” every 8 seconds.

SCREENWRITER GUY I can’t imagine that getting old!

EXECUTIVE GUY It absolutely does. But the best part? They’ll randomly throw themselves off cliffs just to keep things spicy.

SCREENWRITER GUY Very spicy! Like the inside of a dragon’s colon!

EXECUTIVE GUY And we’ve got dragons! Lots of them. You can even fight a huge one early on. But we designed the combat to be real-time and dynamic, so it feels like you’re whacking a pile of potatoes with a broomstick for twenty minutes.

SCREENWRITER GUY Mmm, crunchy combat! What about the performance?

EXECUTIVE GUY We optimized it to run like a wounded donkey in a tar pit. Depending on the platform, it might drop to 20 FPS if you so much as look at a tree.

SCREENWRITER GUY That’s great, because I love when my fantasy immersion is interrupted by the sensation of watching a PowerPoint presentation.

EXECUTIVE GUY And hey, we made sure to include microtransactions for crafting materials and extra fast travel items.

SCREENWRITER GUY Wait, in a full-price single-player RPG?

EXECUTIVE GUY Yup! It’s not pay-to-win, it’s pay-to-walk-slightly-less. Very ethical.

SCREENWRITER GUY So what exactly did you improve in this sequel?

EXECUTIVE GUY The graphics. Oh and now you can play as a talking dog-man. That’s what people really wanted.

SCREENWRITER GUY Well okay then! Sounds like a game that’ll be remembered for something!

EXECUTIVE GUY We’re really banking on the “janky but soulful” genre.

SCREENWRITER GUY And how’s the ending?

EXECUTIVE GUY Oh it’s super deep. You go through a surreal metaphysical finale, ask “what is a pawn?” for the 47th time, and then the game ends with existential dread and no answers.

SCREENWRITER GUY Perfect! That’ll leave fans feeling both confused and superior!

EXECUTIVE GUY Exactly. It’s like Dark Souls meets The Witcher meets someone shouting “ARISEN!” into your ear for 80 hours straight.

SCREENWRITER GUY So it's gonna sell well?

EXECUTIVE GUY Oh yeah. People are already calling it a “flawed masterpiece,” which is industry code for “it broke my spirit but I love it.”